Turkey Day Tips

Thanksgiving is less than 24 hours away! Are we ready? This time last year, I was determined to make it through turkey day with my head held high and my emotions intact. My intention was, and still is, to focus on the things that I do have instead of the one thing that I do not. I needed to find the courage and strength to do that. Not wanting to look like what I’d been through, I put on my hot pink lips and rocked it out.

Thanksgiving 2015 (Hi Huzz!)

Some of you may be entering the day with anticipation, angst, or maybe even avoidance. Whichever you may feel, here are a few tips that can help to get you through. I have also included a note to family and friends on how to handle the holiday conversation around infertility.

1. Take care – If you are going to be spending any portion of your day at a family gathering, get good rest tonight and have a light, healthy breakfast in the morning. This will help to minimize agitation and irritability, which will increase your tolerance for any distractions of the day. Going in, have a plan of how long you want to stay. If you find yourself too overwhelmed with emotion, don’t be afraid to cut your visit short. You are your first priority.
2. Meditate – Start your morning off with mediation. Find a cool, quiet, and comfortable spot in your home. With your eyes closed, lie on your back and place a folded blanket across your hips to ground yourself into the earth. (Place a pillow under your knees if this strains your lower back.) Allow your breaths to be deep, even and smooth as you quiet your mind. If you listen close enough, your inhales and exhales sound like ocean waves on the shore! Center your heart and set an intention for the day. Choose a word like peace, love, or courage to focus on as you welcome the day of gratitude.
3. Say yes…and no – If you wake up Thursday feeling like the day will be too challenging for you, say yes to yourself and no to dinner. It is completely ok to stay home, have a turkey sandwich and catch up on your shows. (Trust me!) This alone time can be an expression of gratitude to your mind/body/spirit for getting you through a challenging year of doctor’s appointments, IUI or IVF cycles, the poking and prodding of needles, a miscarriage or anything else that your body has endured this year. Choose you!
4. Don’t explain – If you find yourself being asked about starting a family (or continuing one), take a deep breath before responding…if you even choose to respond. Your answer will depend on your mood. You may be ready to talk about it; you may not. Either way, you do not have to explain. A simple “thanks for caring” followed up by changing the subject or walking away all together will suffice. You cannot control others asking the question but you can control how you respond. You are responsible for taking care of you. So, go in with the expectation that someone may ask and be prepared.
5. Enjoy the holiday! Whatever you do this week, let love be your guide. Love yourself, love God, and love others. Set your intention on gratitude. Find at least one thing to be grateful for. Make a gratitude list. Put up your Christmas tree. Wear lipstick. Go bowling. Eat sushi. Bake bread. Laugh. Smile. Dance. Celebrate life!

To our family and friends who may or may not know about a loved one’s struggle with infertility, you can offer the greatest gift of love and support by not asking questions about having children or offering advice on how to get pregnant. You may be naturally curious and have the best intentions but when it’s time for you to know, trust that you will be told. Instead, show your support by discussing how grateful you are for the relationship that you share with your loved one and offer a hug coupled with “I love you”. This communicates care and compassion and sends the message that she is not alone.

Happy thanksgiving everyone! Let love be your guide.

XOXOXO